


even if we have to go around a long way

by kwonjis



Series: vices & virtues [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Getting Back Together, Light Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 14:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16494476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwonjis/pseuds/kwonjis
Summary: “i didn’t ask for you to save me!” taeyong said angrily, voice raised.“and i didn’t ask to be your angel but life’s unfair, isn’t it?” jaehyun shouted back.orjaehyun screws up in heaven and has to serve as a guardian angel to his ex as punishmentbased onthis promptfrom twitter





	even if we have to go around a long way

**Author's Note:**

> took me a while to write this and i ended up finishing this instead of my uni assignments uhh don't be like me be a better student than me folks
> 
> this one shot was inspired by a prompt on twitter, you can find the original tweet [here](https://twitter.com/softforlove/status/1041551160799375361). shout out to [@softforlove](https://twitter.com/softforlove) for the amazing idea, i hope i did it justice ♥
> 
> [title taken from jaehyun's song with d.ear "try again"]

“Holy shit, dude Taeil is gonna lose his feathers when he finds out about this.” Sicheng crowed in undisguised amusement as he looked at the mess of splintered golden wood and strings scattered around them.

 

“How was I supposed to know it would end up like _this_?” Jaehyun shouted, throwing up his hands in exasperation.

 

Sicheng sniggered and toed one of the snapped strings pityingly with his toe. “I’m pretty sure when Taeil said to bring his harp over he meant to use your _hands_ not powers. You know how sensitive Taeil’s instruments are. They don’t respond well to other angels, especially not when they’re being handled by strangers.”

 

“It’s just a stupid harp,” Jaehyun muttered. But he couldn’t help but feel guilty. Taeil had been one of heaven’s most skilful singers. He serenaded the heavens with his honey-like voice day after day, fingers always busy plucking out unearthly melodies with finesse that would put any human musician to shame.

 

Rumours always said that the Big Man himself had given Taeil the magical instruments he held so dear but Jaehyun never believed those rumours until he saw Taeil’s legendary harp tremble and shake and emit white light so bright Jaehyun had closed his eyes and opened them to see the debris he was currently agonising over.

 

“Shit, what am I gonna do?” Jaehyun was kneeling down now, picking up some of the broken pieces in his hands. He could still feel some kind of energy from them, lingering for the faintest bit before disappearing completely. It was almost as if the harp had a life of its own.

 

“What are you gonna do about _what_?” A sharp voice demanded. Jaehyun felt the little hairs on the back of his neck rise and if he still had blood, he was pretty damn sure it would have left his face.

 

“Doyoung, I can explain.” Jaehyun said sheepishly. But one look from the other angel made Jaehyun shut up immediately.

 

He was in _big_ trouble.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Taeil was devastated.

 

Jaehyun felt like he had kicked a puppy from the way Taeil gazed down at the wrecked remains of his precious harp. The older angel mourned the loss of one of his favourite instruments as if he was mourning the loss of a loved one and Jaehyun felt his heart wrench painfully in his chest as he watched Taeil scoop up the pieces and place them gingerly in a golden box.

 

As if the emotional weight from his guilt wasn’t enough, Doyoung had issued him with a punishing task. The older angel had grinned _evilly_ when he handed Jaehyun his assignment.

 

“A guardian angel, sure I don’t mind. But a guardian angel to my _ex-boyfriend_ ? Who didn’t even _attend_ my funeral? What the hell!” Jaehyun ranted angrily, flying around in circles above Sicheng who was skipping stones across one of heaven’s many beautiful lakes. Sicheng glanced up at him and arched an eyebrow.

 

“It’s called a punishment for a reason, idiot. Did you really think Doyoung was gonna let you off that easy? We all know how much he favours Taeil and the fact that you went and made his favourite angel sad was reason enough for him to screw you over like this.”

 

“I swear, how did he even get into heaven?” Jaehyun wondered out loud. He landed softly on the grass next to Sicheng and sat down cross-legged.

 

“You’re one to talk, Mr My-Life-My-Rules,” Sicheng scoffed, tossing a blade of grass in Jaehyun’s direction. Okay, maybe Sicheng had a point.

 

Jaehyun had never thought of himself as an extremely good person. When he was still alive he hadn’t gone out volunteering on weekends to help the less fortunate, he never helped old ladies cross the road and never donated anything more than a dollar to charity. But he never went out of his way to do anything _bad_ either. He just lived as he wanted. He never really thought about the whole afterlife business until he had woken up one day surrounded by other people he didn’t know all wearing the same matching white robe as him. Apparently he’d done _something_ decent enough in his life to warrant him a place in heaven.

 

But looking at his situation now, Jaehyun briefly began to question why he had even made up here in the first place.

 

“What was he like?” Sicheng asked suddenly. He looked at Jaehyun with curious eyes. “Your ex, I mean. What happened between you two?”

 

Ah. That was a _long_ story. Jaehyun shifted slightly, squirming on the grass until he lay himself down and stared up at nothing in particular.

 

“He was my first love,” Jaehyun started softly. It was true. He could never deny that fact. “He was two years my senior in university, we met through a mutual friend. He was always so driven, alway so sure about what he wanted to do with his life. I never felt like I was good enough for him and sometimes he never even tried to tell me that I _was_. I always felt like I was just something he kept around for convenience, you know? Eventually I found out he landed the job of his dreams overseas. The worst part was he didn’t bother telling me about it until I accidentally saw his plane tickets a week before he was supposed to fly off. So I broke things off. He didn’t seem too upset so I figured he never really cared much anyways.”

 

Sicheng was quiet as he processed this. “That really sucks, I’m sorry,” He said quietly. Jaehyun closed his eyes and sighed.

 

“It’s fine. Doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll just get this punishment over with and then zip back up here without ever making full contact with him.”

 

But now, as Jaehyun stood watching with horror as Taeyong crossed the street completely unaware of the motorcycle speeding towards, Jaehyun couldn’t help but assume a physical form in order to save Taeyong and avoid getting reprimanded by Doyoung _again_. (“You better not let him die or get hurt under your watch,” Doyoung had warned Jaehyun multiple times before the latter descended down to Earth.)

 

Forcing his wings away, he willed himself to become tangible before grabbing Taeyong by the arm and pulling him hard. Taeyong, completely unprepared for this sudden grab, fell right into his arms and sent them both tumbling to the sidewalk.

 

“What the hell?” Taeyong groaned, pushing Jaehyun away and detaching his arm from the angel’s grip. Jaehyun scowled as he sat up.

 

“I think you meant to say ‘thank you’,” Jaehyun grumbled. Taeyong made a sound of annoyance and looked at Jaehyun with irritation before his face paled.

 

“Y-you…” Taeyong stammered, scrambling away from Jaehyun. The angel frowned in confusion until he realised his mistake.

 

Ah. Fuck.

 

In his panic to rescue Taeyong from imminent death, Jaehyun had completely forgotten that the most irritating part of his punishment was that he had to disguise himself around Taeyong. It wasn’t often that a guardian angel was sent to Earth while there were still people down there who knew them. But of fucking course Doyoung had to go and make things hard for Jaehyun just for the hell of it.

 

“I’ll explain everything, but not here,” Jaehyun said in a low voice, standing up and pulling Taeyong with him. Taeyong was too stunned to protest or even move and allowed Jaehyun to drag him away into an empty alley.

 

“Is this some kind of fucked up joke?” Taeyong burst out as soon as they were away from prying ears. He ripped his arm away from Jaehyun as if he’d been burned and glared at him balefully. “Who set you up to this? Was it Ten? I know he loves a good prank but this is just despicable.”

 

“Ten? What the hell no, this isn’t a joke!” Jaehyun said, crossing his arms. Why he was even bothering to defend himself right now instead of just leaving, Jaehyun didn’t know.

 

“Prosthetic makeup has really made it’s leaps and bounds. This looks like _real_ skin,” Taeyong commented, hysteria bleeding into his voice as he pinched and tugged at Jaehyun’s face. Jaehyun could see Taeyong struggling to keep it together and he felt a pang of guilt coarse through him briefly.

 

Reaching up, he gently pulled Taeyong’s hands away from his face and stepped back. “It’s me, Yongie.” He said, carefully gauging the reaction of the other.

 

“Don’t call me that,” Taeyong snapped angrily. Jaehyun could see him shaking from shock? Fear? Fury? “Don’t you _dare_ call me that when you look exactly like _him_. I don’t know how you know my name, or who the fuck you think you are but if you don’t leave me alone right now I swear I’m gonna call the cops and-”

 

Jaehyun, having had enough of being threatened by angels and humans alike, decided to do the only thing he could think of to get Taeyong to shut up. He closed his eyes and let his wings ripple into existence. The choked response from Taeyong prompted him to open his eyes again. The human was looking at him with wide eyes, face drained of blood. He was trembling visibly now and Jaehyung felt bad for putting him through this.

 

“Taeyong, look I-”

 

But before he could finish his sentence, Taeyong collapsed into a heap onto the ground.

 

_Maybe I should have just lied and said that Ten guy set me up to this._

 

 

* * *

 

It took a quite a while before Taeyong woke up again. Whether it was from shock, Jaehyun didn’t really know. But as he looked down at Taeyong’s unconscious form, Jaehyun noted how fragile the human looked.

 

_Idiot. You never take care of yourself._

 

When Taeyong had passed out, Jaehyun had scooped up Taeyong in his arms and flew them over to a tall building in the quieter part of the city. The angel bundled up the jacket he had been wearing and propped Taeyong’s head up with it gently before healing the bump the human had gotten when he collapsed onto the concrete.

 

This whole situation was bizarre. Jaehyun had a feeling he had probably broken a few protocols when he revealed his angelic nature to Taeyong but in his defense he wasn’t going to just leave Taeyong wondering why someone with the face of his ex-boyfriend had just saved his life. He deserved some kind of explanation.

 

_No he doesn’t. You don’t owe him anything._

 

A quiet groan from behind him snapped the angel out of his thoughts. He turned around and hurried over to Taeyong’s side to help him sit up. Jaehyun tried not to feel offended from the way Taeyong recoiled at his touch.

 

“What are you?” Taeyong asked once he had gotten to his feet. Jaehyun could tell Taeyong was trying to put on a brave face but he could hear how shaky his voice was. “ _Who_ are you? And don’t tell me you’re-”

 

“I’m Jaehyun,” The angel said patiently. Taeyong shook his head and backed away.

 

“No, that’s not possible. Jaehyun’s _dead_ ,” Hysteria creeped into Taeyong’s voice once again. “Shit, am _I_ dead?”

 

Jaehyun looked up at the sky in desperation. _Heaven, help me._

 

“You’re not dead,” Jaehyun said, trying to keep his tone as gentle as possible. “Uh, I’m still dead, I’m just an angel now.”

 

Taeyong was eerily silent as he processed this and Jaehyun was nervous that the human was going to have another breakdown or pass out. He took a few steps closer to Jaehyun and for a split second the angel thought that the human was going to reach out to touch his face but thought better of it.

 

“An angel. An _angel_.” Taeyong repeated, looking at Jaehyun up and down. He let out a scoff that grated at Jaehyun’s nerves. “You’re telling me heaven sent my dead ex to follow me around and make sure I don’t die prematurely. Couldn’t they have given me someone else?”

 

Jaehyun gaped at Taeyong in astonishment. “Excuse me? I saved your life and this is how yo-”

 

“I didn’t ask for you to save me!” Taeyong said angrily, voice raised.

 

“And I didn’t ask to be your angel but life’s unfair, isn’t it?” Jaehyun shouted back.

 

The two of them glared at each other and Jaehyun couldn’t help but think about the last time they’d been face to face like this. Taeyong had been expressionless when Jaehyun ended their relationship, when Jaehyun walked away. Seeing Taeyong’s emotions etched so clearly on his face now made Jaehyun feel weird.

 

“How long are you gonna be around for?” Taeyong asked, breaking the icy silence.

 

“I don’t know,” Jaehyun admitted. These assignments didn’t really have a stipulated end date. Jaehyun was just expecting Doyoung to appear and tell him to come back to heaven one day when it was all over.

 

Taeyong didn’t like this answer. Displeasure was written all over his face but Jaehyun could see the moment when Taeyong decided to accept his fate. “I don’t want to see you around,” Taeyong said quietly. “You can just hover around and like stay invisible or whatever it is you guys do. I don’t want to see your face anywhere unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

 

Jaehyun scoffed and folded his arms. “That’s fine with me.”

 

And it was. Jaehyun was just going to do the bare minimum until Doyoung got over his self-righteous ass and let him come back to heaven.

 

It was gonna be a piece of cake.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It wasn’t a piece of cake.

 

Jaehyun followed Taeyong around everywhere and even though he didn’t dare make himself visible he could still see the unease in Taeyong’s movements. Taeyong’s eyes would sometimes dart around warily, as if looking for Jaehyun. The human looked more wound up than Jaehyun had ever seen him.

 

“Look,” Jaehyun said one night, appearing in Taeyong’s living room and scaring the living daylights out of him. “I won’t be around you every single second of the day anymore. I’ll just be… hovering. Listening in. If you call for me, I’ll come right over.”

 

“As if I’d ever need your help,” Taeyong muttered, turning away.

 

“You’re right, it’s not like you ever let me know what you were really feeling when we were still dating,” Jaehyun said snidely. Taeyong had whirled around, eyes filled with hurt and anger but Jaehyun decided to leave. He didn’t trust himself to say anything else around the human.

 

Taeyong’s reluctance to ever share what was really going on in his mind had been one straining factor in their relationship. Whenever Jaehyun could tell that Taeyong was stressed or upset about something, Taeyong would brush off Jaehyun’s concern and smile like everything was okay. It left Jaehyun with feelings of insecurity, like maybe _he_ had done something to upset Taeyong or that, even worse, Taeyong didn’t trust him enough.

 

“Doyoung, please,” Jaehyun all but begged. “Can’t you assign me anyone else? Can’t you assign me anything else? I’ll sweep the heavens for the next millennium if that’s what you want me to do. If this is still about Taeil’s harp-”

 

“It’s not about the harp, Jaehyun, I’m not _that_ petty. I’m only following divine orders. You’ll understand soon enough.” Doyoung said, genuinely looking a little sorry.

 

“But what does he need me for?” Jaehyun had exclaimed in response. “He has his life in order, he’s got the money, he’s got everything he’s ever wanted. He doesn’t need a guardian angel, he doesn’t need me.”

 

“He does need you. You both just don’t realise it.”

 

Doyoung’s response did nothing but sully Jaehyun’s mood even more. Of course Doyoung would say it was a ‘divine order’. And that bit about understanding “soon enough”? Nothing but bullshit, Jaehyun decided.

 

But he still had a job to do.

 

Although Taeyong never called for help out loud, Jaehyun still stepped in here and there to do the bare minimum. He’d occasionally nudge a few people here and there, put them out of Taeyong’s path and make things a little easier for the human sometimes. Taeyong never said thank you. Jaehyun never expected him to either. It was easier to keep a distance.

 

Jaehyun was very familiar with being kept an arm’s length away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Jaehyun.”

 

It took almost four months until Jaehyun heard Taeyong say his name again.

 

He’d arrived at the bar where his senses had told him Taeyong was. The location took Jaehyun by surprise, mostly because Taeyong had never been a heavy drinker. Hearing Taeyong call out for him drunkenly was wholly unfamiliar. _Maybe something bad happened at work?_ Jaehyun thought. Keeping himself undetected, he made his way over to the bar where Taeyong was sitting at with a pretty, delicate looking man who was patting Taeyong’s knee and looking at him worriedly.

 

“Ten, I need Jaehyun to come here,” Taeyong hiccuped.

 

“Yong, sweetie, Jaehyun isn’t around anymore. It’s been years, I thought you told me you’d moved o-”

 

“He’s still here!” Taeyong blurted out insistently. Jaehyun watched as Taeyong grabbed Ten’s hands, forcing the other to look at him. “I know he’s around here somewhere. I can’t breathe Ten, I can’t sleep at night because I’m thinking about him. There’s so many things I want to say to him but I _can’t_. I don’t know what to do.” Taeyong’s voice broke on the last word and Jaehyun watched him break down into tears.

 

Jaehyun felt something ugly settling in the pit of his stomach as he turned away from the scene. Clearly there was something weighing heavily on Taeyong’s mind, something about Jaehyun that was causing him pain.

 

 _I don’t understand why you put me here. What am I supposed to do for him? What am I here for?_ Jaehyun glared up angrily at the starless inky sky once he stepped out of the bar.

 

When Ten brought Taeyong back to the latter’s apartment, Jaehyun watched as Taeyong cried out for Ten to stay. “You know I can’t, Yong.” Ten said apologetically, holding Taeyong’s hand as he helped him into bed. “I’ve put out water and aspirin for you on your nightstand, please call me tomorrow morning. I’ll be right over if you need me, okay?” Taeyong mumbled something unintelligible and eventually nodded off to sleep.

 

Once Ten had exited Taeyong’s apartment, Jaehyun found himself making his way to Taeyong’s room. He looked over Taeyong’s sleeping figure, took in the tear tracks on his cheeks and the way his hands clenched at the blanket wrapped around him.

 

“I wish I could read your mind, it would make this easier for us both,” Jaehyun said quietly. “Usually when people need an angel in their lives it’s because they need a friend, or someone to guide them. You don’t need any of that, so what _do_ you need?”

 

Taeyong stirred a little, curling in on himself and mumbling in his sleep.

 

“Jaehyun.”

 

The angel froze at the mention of his name. Taeyong’s face was scrunched up, as if he were in pain. Jaehyun swallowed visibly before daring to take a step closer. _Maybe he was having a nightmare_.

 

With much weariness, Jaehyun reached out and gently placed a hand on Taeyong’s forehead. He could sense that Taeyong was highly distressed, that there was something eating at him inside although he couldn’t really tell what. Closing his eyes, he sent out a pulse of calming, healing energy through his hand. He opened his eyes after a bit and removed his hand from Taeyong’s forehead once he felt that the human had calmed down a little.

 

_What’s going on with you, Taeyong?_

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Jaehyun, we need to talk.”

 

Taeyong’s tone was oddly neutral as he called out for the angel. Jaehyun had been bracing himself for Taeyong’s usual icy demeanour and felt confused when he spotted Taeyong sitting on the sofa with waves of anxiety and hesitation rolling off of him.

 

“About what?” Jaehyun asked carefully, stepping a little closer to the living room. Taeyong gestured for him to take a seat, clearly avoiding his gaze. Jaehyun decided to settle down on the armchair diagonal from where Taeyong was seated.

 

“Last night. You were there, weren’t you?” Taeyong asked evenly, finally looking at the angel. “You heard everything I said?”

 

Jaehyun hesitated a little. “I heard enough. Realised you weren’t really in any danger when you called my name so I just waited outside to make sure you got home safe.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Silence. Jaehyun shifted uncomfortably in his seat while Taeyong cleared his throat.

 

“I don’t know what you think of me now after seeing… After last night,” Taeyong started. “But I think you and I both know we’ve left enough unsaid between us. I didn’t realise until you showed up again that I’ve never changed. And I only realised last night that I have the chance to finally try make things right.”

 

“Make what right? There’s nothing to fix,” Jaehyun regretted saying the last part out loud after seeing hurt flash quickly in Taeyong’s eyes for a split second. Taeyong steeled himself and looked at Jaehyun in the eyes.

 

The vulnerability in the other’s eyes made Jaehyun’s voice catch in his throat. It was such a foreign look to Jaehyun, a look he had never seen in Taeyong’s eyes before.

 

“Do you remember the day we broke up?” Taeyong asked softly.

 

How could Jaehyun forget.

 

He could still vividly recall the anger and hurt he felt when he saw those flight tickets, when he saw the letter offering Taeyong a job at the firm of his dreams. He could still feel the coldness from Taeyong’s impassive eyes when he told him he’d had enough.

 

He’d never forget how easily Taeyong had let him go.

 

“Why does it matter?” Jaehyun asked, looking away from the human.

 

“It matters because,” Taeyong’s voice hitched a little, prompting Jaehyun to glance at him. “From the moment you walked out that day, I regretted letting you go. And I’m sorry I never tried going after you, Jae.”

 

 _Jae_.

 

The use of his old nickname, the nickname Taeyong loved to call him, felt like a slap to the face.

 

“Don’t call me that, you don’t get to call me that anymore.” Jaehyun said, trying to keep his voice as even as possible. But it was almost impossible to hide the hurt and anger that had begun to seep out from the wound that Taeyong had unwittingly reopened.

 

“Jaehyun,” Taeyong pleaded, eyes filling with desperation. “I was never supposed to go to New York. You were never supposed to see those plane tickets.”

 

“What was I supposed to think? You made it clear that you prioritised your career before me. Was I supposed to just believe that you were going to give up the job of your dreams that easily?” Jaehyun’s voice was raised now. “The number of times I begged you to come home instead of working overtime, the number of times you pushed me away whenever I pleaded with you to talk about what was on your mind whenever you came home looking like work was draining the life out of you. All those times made it perfectly clear to me that nothing was going to stop you.”

 

“It was for us,” Taeyong sounded angry. “I worked as hard as I did because I wanted to give us everything we could ever want. I didn’t want you working three jobs to pay off your tuition debt from university. I only ever thought of you wh-”

 

“You never asked me what I wanted. You’ve never even _mentioned_ any of this to me.” Jaehyun cut in loudly. He was on his feet now. He hadn’t even noticed he’d stood up until he realised he was looking down at Taeyong, who was still seated. “Why did you never _tell_ me this? If you had told me all this maybe we…” He clenched his fists and looked away.

 

_Maybe we could have worked through things in the end._

 

The silence hanging between them was heavy and Jaehyun wanted nothing more than to disappear, to fly back to heaven and face whatever reprimand he was going to get for abandoning his assignment.

 

“I never wanted to burden you,” Taeyong said quietly. “I didn’t want you to worry about me, I didn’t want you to think that I was wearing myself down because of you. I realise now that keeping everything to myself probably did us, did _you_ more harm than good. I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t a priority in my life because you were Jae, you were the only thing that kept me going. When you came to me about those tickets, when you said you’d had enough, I let you go because I thought you deserved better.”

 

“I did deserve better,” Jaehyun said. He looked at Taeyong and found himself looking into tear-filled eyes. “ _We_ both deserved better. I’m sorry, Yong. I’m sorry for leaving like that. I always thought you deserved someone as capable as you. And whenever you pushed me away, whenever you shut me out I thought maybe I wasn’t enough for you. No matter how hard I tried you never opened up to me. I was angry when I saw those tickets but I realised you’d probably be happier with that job, without me. I took those stupid tickets as an easy way out. That’s why I ended things.”

 

Taeyong blinked and a few tears streaked down his cheeks as he stared at Jaehyun. He let out a shaky laugh and shook his head. “I didn’t think I’d ever have this conversation with you. When I heard about your accident I… I was in a really bad place for the first few months after your passing. Ten was the one who dragged me out and snapped some sense back into me. It was so difficult in the beginning. I had so many regrets about what happened between us but after a while it became easier. Until you showed up of course, then that kind of just smashed down the dam I’d built around those memories.”

 

The joking tone in Taeyong’s voice lightened the mood significantly. Jaehyun found a small smile slipping onto his face as he gazed at Taeyong. “Are we… Are we good?” Jaehyun asked softly. Taeyong looked at him and smiled.

 

“Yeah,” He nodded. “We’re good.”

 

The next few days after what Jaehyun had mentally dubbed ‘The Talk’ were the most human days Jaehyun had had in a long time. Taeyong was more comfortable around him now and let him linger around the apartment instead of making Jaehyun stay out of his sight like he’d done before. They’d slowly begun getting used to talking to each other again, starting out at first with sincere and somewhat clumsy small talk which evolved into something more familiar. Something more natural.

 

It felt as if Jaehyun had regained a piece of himself, the part of himself that he hadn’t even realised he’d lost. Taeyong also looked a little happier. There was a glow around him that he hadn’t had before and Jaehyun began to recognise the Taeyong he’d fallen in love with years ago.

 

But there was still a line neither of them could cross. Jaehyun was still an angel. Taeyong was still human. The two of them were painfully aware of this and tried their best to curb any lingering feelings they had for each other. Jaehyun had a time limit on earth, one that could expire any moment as soon as his assignment was deemed complete. Taeyong had his own life to live. They both understood this.

 

Still, Jaehyun couldn’t help but catch the way Taeyong looked at him sometimes with sad, affectionate eyes. He couldn’t help but notice how Taeyong’s cheeks would flush slightly if Jaehyun got too close or how he could hear Taeyong’s heartbeat speed up whenever laughed.

 

And Jaehyun couldn’t ignore the way every fibre of his being cried out with the unrelenting urge to hold Taeyong close and never let him go again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Doyoung appeared in Taeyong’s apartment mere minutes after the human had headed off to work one morning, Jaehyun knew his time was up.

 

“We’re expecting you back in heaven by the end of the day,” Doyoung said gently. He was inspecting the painting that was hanging on the living room wall. “They wanted you back last night but Sicheng and I convinced them to give you one day’s extension.”

 

“I just got him back,” Jaehyun said quietly. “Doesn’t he need me here? Wasn’t the reason I came down here because he needed me by his side?”

 

“No Jaehyun, he needed _closure_. He can move on with his life now that he’s resolved the one thing that had held him back for years. That’s why you were assigned to him. You were the only one who could help him.”

 

“What if he still needs me?” _What if I need him?_

 

“If he still needed you, I wouldn’t be here telling you that you’ve finished your assignment.” Doyoung was facing him now and Jaehyun hated the almost pitiful look Doyoung was giving. Jaehyun ran a hand through his hair in frustration but couldn’t bring himself to argue.

 

Once the senior angel had left, Jaehyun sank down into one of Taeyong’s dining chairs and wondered how he would break the news to Taeyong.

 

A couple of hours later, Jaehyun found himself standing in Taeyong’s kitchen with an apron tied around his waist and a knife in the other. He sliced the ingredients with care and precision. Galbijjim was one of the first meals Taeyong had cooked for him when they had first started dating. It was also Taeyong’s favourite dishes.

 

“What’s that smell? Jae, are you cooking?” Jaehyun heard Taeyong’s voice call out from the apartment entrance. He could hear Taeyong’s footsteps as the human padded through the living room and into the kitchen. He switched the fire off and turned around to see Taeyong smiling at him while trying to peer over his shoulder to get a glimpse of the pot.

 

“Go put your stuff down, I’ll get the table ready,” Jaehyun said, pushing Taeyong gently out of the kitchen. The sentence sounded so domestic, so _human_. Jaehyun couldn’t remember the last time he set the table. After all, angels didn’t really need to eat.

 

Taeyong had huffed in slight protest but relented. Jaehyun swiftly laid out plates and utensils for the two of them before carefully ladling out the galbijjim from the pot and into a large bowl. When Taeyong spotted the food laid out on the table he let out a gasp of surprise.

 

“Is that…”

 

“Your favourite,” Jaehyun said. He couldn’t help the smile that had slipped onto his face as he watched Taeyong glow with happiness. Taeyong looked up at him, eyes filled with amazement.

 

“What’s the occasion?” He asked as the two of them sat down. Jaehyun shifted uncomfortably in his seat and fiddled with the chopsticks in his hand.

 

“I just wanted to do this one last thing for you,” Jaehyun murmured, keeping his eyes on his plate of food.

 

“What?” Taeyong’s voice was quiet, laced with confusion. Jaehyun felt his chest tighten at this. He forced himself to look at Taeyong. “What do you mean ‘one last thing’?”

 

Jaehyun set his chopsticks down. He hated that he had to this again. He hated that he had to leave Taeyong behind, that he had to break Taeyong’s heart again. “My assignment is done. Heaven wants me back.”

 

“How soon do they need you?” Taeyong asked softly.

 

“Tonight. They gave me until tonight.” Jaehyun stole a glance at Taeyong after he said this. The human who begun to pick at his food with a sad smile on his beautiful face. “I’m sorry, Yong. I w-”

 

“Why are you apologising?” Taeyong interrupted, also putting his chopsticks down. He looked at Jaehyun, eyes filled with unshed tears. “You saved my life, Jaehyun. You’ve protected me while you were here even when I was being shitty to you at the start of all this. You coming back gave me the chance to find peace with one part of my life that had tormented me for years. You gave me the one thing I needed the most, Jae. You gave me closure, you gave me a second chance. Whatever your assignment was, I have no doubt that you carried it out flawlessly. Heaven’s lucky to have you. _I_ was lucky to have you back.”

 

The food lay forgotten on the table now as the two of them silently struggled to come to terms with their imminent separation. Jaehyun knew this was coming but couldn’t stop himself from feeling miserable about this.

 

“I’m going to miss you,” Jaehyun exhaled shakily. He realised his cheeks were wet with tears when Taeyong leaned over the table with a napkin and wiped at his face gently.

 

“I’m going to miss you too Jae,” Taeyong’s voice was also shaky as he said this. “But maybe we can do our goodbyes after we finish eating? I don’t wanna let this food go cold.” Jaehyun couldn’t help but laugh and nodded, wiping his tears away hastily. It was kind of ridiculous, the way the two of them sat there eating their food with teary eyes and exchanging sad smiles. If Sicheng was watching this he’d probably tease Jaehyun endlessly for being such a sap.

 

When Jaehyun began scrubbing away at the dishes in the sink after they had eaten, he felt a pair of arms slip around his waist and a warm body pressing itself against his back. His breath hitched as he felt Taeyong bury his face into his shoulder. “Yong,” He started but Taeyong held him tighter.

 

“Just… Can we stay like this for a while? Please,” Taeyong murmured against his shirt. Jaehyun swallowed and resumed what he was doing. They stood there in silence, Taeyong holding onto Jaehyun as the angel finished washing every dish in the sink.

 

Jaehyun had avoided getting too close to Taeyong, not wanting to make things harder for when Jaehyun had to leave. But it seemed that in the face of Jaehyun’s departure, Taeyong had thrown out any self-restraint and was bent on holding onto Jaehyun for as long as he could.

 

They retreated to the sofa once Jaehyun was done with the dishes. Taeyong was tucked into Jaehyun’s side as they lay holding hands and murmuring quietly to each other in the lowlight of Taeyong’s living room.

 

“Yong,” Jaehyun murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of the human’s hand before letting go and propping himself up using one arm. “Promise me you’ll move on. That you’ll forget about me.” _I don’t want you to lose out on meeting someone that could make you happy in this life._ He thought guiltily.

 

Taeyong frowned a little at this. He reached up and cupped Jaehyun’s cheek with one hand, stroking his cheek gently with his thumb. “Jae, I don’t think I’ll ever forget you. Not after all this. There’s still a chance we’ll see each other again in the afterlife right?”

 

“But that’s the thing,” Jaehyun said. “I don’t want you to live like that. I want you to find someone who can make you happy _here._ While you’re still alive. We’ve had our time together and as shitty as it sounds and as much as it fucking hurts me to say this, that chapter of our lives is over.” Taeyong’s hand had slipped from his face and he was looking at Jaehyun with eyes brimming with tears. “Taeyong, I’ll never stop loving you. I’ll never not have feelings for you. I mean, even after I died I _still_ couldn’t run from my feelings for you. You might feel the same way now but when I leave you might find someone else who makes you happy, who treats you right. And when you do I want you to take a chance with them. You still have a life to live, Yong. I don’t.”

 

“And if I don’t find anyone else in this life?” Taeyong said softly, one tear slipping down his cheek. He pushed himself up now, leaning against the arm of the sofa and staring at Jaehyun in the eyes. “What if I see you in the afterlife and find that my feelings are still the same? Are you going to stop me from wanting to try _us_ again?”

 

“Of course not,” Jaehyun wanted to cry again. Taeyong’s stubbornness was something he was all too familiar with. “But don’t wait until that day, Taeyong. Promise me you’ll live life normally. That you’ll go out and fall in love again.”

 

“I can live life normally. No promises about falling in love again though,” Taeyong teased, wiping his eyes. Jaehyun couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward and pulling Taeyong into him and lying back down into the sofa.

 

“You’ll be gone when I wake up tomorrow,” Taeyong murmured. Jaehyun’s throat felt tight as he nodded. “Sing me a song, Jae,” Taeyong whispered. “Sing me to sleep one last time before you go.” It was something Jaehyun used to do when they had first started dating. Taeyong found Jaehyun’s voice mesmerising, soothing and claimed his best sleeps came to him whenever Jaehyun serenaded him.

 

Taeyong played with Jaehyun’s fingers as the angel began to sing softly. Jaehyun struggled to keep his voice steady as he sang words that he’d sung so many times before. He could see Taeyong’s eyes drooping shut as he let himself get lulled into sleep.

 

Once Taeyong had fallen asleep, Jaehyun gently removed himself from Taeyong’s embrace. He carefully carried Taeyong to his proper bed and tucked him in, making sure not to jostle the human too much. He looked at Taeyong’s sleeping form, memorising every inch of Taeyong’s beautiful face with his eyes.

 

“I promise,” He whispered, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Taeyong’s cheek. “We’ll be alright.”

 

Years later, when Taeyong woke up in heaven, Jaehyun got to keep his promise. Taeyong ran straight into Jaehyun’s arms and Jaehyun felt his heart burst when the shorter angel pulled him into a kiss.

 

“So what now?” Jaehyun asked breathlessly, pulling away after Sicheng, who was passing by, had coughed at them to separate. Taeyong grinned at him.

 

“We try again.”

 

They had all of eternity to get things right, after all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on [twitter](https://twitter.com/taemintys)!


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